I was Betrayed [BUSH HOUSE]; MUST READ

For reasons I consider too private to discuss, I have caught myself frequently, recently, spending far too much time ruminating on the twin vices of disloyalty and betrayal. For months I consider too many to quantify, I tried to push back the idea of writing on these two interchangeable monsters. But now, its time has come. So, I lose.
Gratefully so!
Everyone can betray anyone. Someone has given or received disloyalty or betrayal, at some point. Stop seeking to exonerate yourself; even you are guilty, somehow. Here's how: disloyalty, like betrayal, belongs either in lightweight (mild) category or heavyweight (serious) category. You may wave off or choose not to remember the many times you were disloyal because in your mind it was just a small mistake (and really, it was). Yet, the same you would never forgive or forget the day someone you trusted betrayed you!
Funny, right? No, whatever their magnitude, disloyalty is disloyalty; betrayal is betrayal. QED!

Furthermore, betrayal or disloyalty is a human vice; an all-round vice in that it can happen intra-personally, interpersonally and by man to God. Someone can betray self; everyone can betray everyone; anyone can betray God. When you sink to a certain level of misdemeanour or find yourself doing something you had sworn or thought you would never do, you betray yourself. When a protégé is disloyal to the godfather; when a mentor becomes a tormentor to his mentee; when a follower overtakes or attempts to overtake or undercuts a leader; when a leader takes a follower for a ride; a bruise appears on the tiny cord that trust is. Most often than not, disloyalty or betrayal starts small and grows into a monster. Only very few are smart enough to notice it when it starts off. But, its endgame, so to speak, is devastating!

As with man, so too with God. When man fails God, which happens per second, trust is broken. However, unlike in the vertical disloyalty or betrayal (that is, man to man) where the pains are internecine; in the horizontal situation, God loses and misses nothing. It is man that bears the brunt one hundred percent. The man, or woman or child for that matter, who has betrayed God loses faith in self, personal abilities and capabilities, and worst of all, starts to believe that God can never forgive him/her, let alone ever take him/back. There can't be a weightier self-inflicted burden!

My concern in this piece is about vertical disloyalty/betrayal. Specifically, why does a human being betray another? While I may not know all the reasons, I have thought out quite a few guesses I believe can stand the test of logic. Here you are:

1.0 Human Nature: That's quite obvious. All human beings, all of us, you and I, are wired like every other animal. We know right is better, but we prefer left. We understand that sweet is bitter; yet, we feast on it. For instance, we were forewarned about the implications of eating the-middle-of-the-garden-tree fruit but we insisted on finding out stuff for ourselves. We know sane society shall banish us once our disloyalty is found out; yet, we go ahead to do our worst hoping they never know!

2.0 Quick Gains: Loyalty is hardly ever fully rewarded. In the few cases the reverse has been true, the recompense was not concomitant. The reward left Mr. or Mrs. or Miss Loyal feeling if it was worth the trouble at all. Given a second chance, such a one takes the wrong lane. After all, once bitten twice shy!

3.0 Disloyalty Pays More: And in a rather stupidly-funny way. The smooth operator eats from both ways (from where (s)he is and from where (s)he is reporting to) as well as all ways. By the way, all ways could also mean always. Meaning, the disloyal person eats all the time; unlike the loyal 'fool' who has to wait until the boss approves a portion. Even more painfully, the boss of the loyal lieutenant prefers to pump the goodies to the disloyal guy in the forlorn hope that he would become loyal. Alas, loyalty is never bought or acquired. It's an intrinsic value: it is the very heart of human ethics!

4.0 Zero Human Relations: It is not always that we must blame the giver of disloyalty or betrayal. Most times, it is the victim that caused it. You can be a popular giver but if there exists a disconnect between your people and you, chances are that anyone on your team can betray you. No, you won't blame him/her. Blame yourself, your style. Blame the fact that you made your team members not to have any real stake in what you do. Or that, you made them to feel inferior, unloved. Yes, that's how most aides who go on to betray their boss feel. The boss gave them no sense of belonging or assured future. Therefore, they took their fate in their own hands. Or rather, they plotted their own future by messing up the boss's present!

5.0 Simple Natural Tactics: Nature plays a fundamental role in human affairs. That's true in both good and bad ways. If you have a Judas on your team, and nature is on your side, the Judas would be compelled to fast-forward his 'judasity'. Sacked, he no longer has the chance to cause greater mischief which might have brought untold consequences. Such betrayal can turn out in the future to be a blessing in disguise. Downside, the sufferer of disloyalty/betrayal might only be paying a natural debt. Nature never misses a thing; nature might take time but she will take her pound of flesh when human beings might have forgotten. Another perspective: disloyalty and betrayal also have pedagogic potentialities. Only a foolish victim would not know how painful the monstrous twin vices are, as not to give them to others!

6.0 Life As A Cycle: We all condemn disloyalty/betrayal. We all pray against both. Why then are they on the increase? I can guess: life is a continuum. Those who betrayed, yesterday are themselves betrayed today. Those who betray, today will themselves take their turn tomorrow. And the beat goes on. Meaning: "as long as the earth remaineth", disloyalty and betrayal shall never cease!

7.0 Choosing Wrong Confidants: Human beings are a funny bunch. We think we can outsmart nature. We make choices based on selfish motives, wrong calculations and desperate moves. For instance, we pick a dunce over a brilliant availability because in our foolish smartness, we think that (s)he will be easy to manipulate. Alas, when the time comes and you push that same dunce, what you get back is a shove. Some betrayal can serve you right, right?

8.0 No Initial Full Understanding: In politics as well as in business, cases of disloyalty or betrayal would be drastically reduced if parties involved sat down, beforehand, to explain and agree on their interest(s). Instead, what you have is that everyone takes things for granted; waiting to divide the spoils when the battle is won. Then, the argument germinates into a shouting match and later, the world harvests it as sworn enmity. Yet, no one is learning. It's the eve of 2015 elections. As is the wont of all Nigerian politicians, there's an ongoing unprecedented political realignment. Enemies have suddenly become friends without discussing past grievances nor agreeing short- and long-term expectations. A week, a month, a year max, post-29th May, their bubble will burst and another journey to another round of betrayal will begin in earnest. Sssh!

9.0 Third Party Incursions: Family, confidants and friends are also a major cause of the chasm in relationships that disloyalty or betrayal represents. An aide can move on because (s)he is under sickening pressure. Pressure from his/her own family who want him/her to bring home more money. Pressure from boss's family and company who maltreat or disparage him/her. Most aides who jump ship do so for other reasons than self or boss. They walk out so they can keep their sanity; away from a fastidious third party!

10.0 Living A Lie: Most of us lead double lives. We engage in mind-blowing doublespeak. We paint gold when it should be grim. We promise heaven when all we can offer is hell. Expecting anyone, who was attracted by our sweet tongue to stay put after realising we are only impostors, is tantamount to planting mango and expecting to reap orange. Know it, most of those who betray us or become disloyal to us do so because they found out we have been lying to them. Lying itself is a form of disloyalty or betrayal. It takes two to tango!

Conclusion:
As I alluded to at the opening, this work is not exhaustive. It cannot be. There are many other reasons people betray people. Here you are: Emergency Friendships; Being Hyper-Ambitious; Knack For Revenge; Crass Naïveté; Too Goody Goody,etc. Also, this article is not intended to make excuses for disloyalty or betrayal. It is only an academic work; nothing more. Note though that, no matter how compelling the circumstances to go the way of disloyalty or betrayal might be, the world will always stand up to salute that person who stoically refused to take that easy way out. Will you be that one person? The world is waiting to celebrate you. Never betray. Never be disloyal. God bless Nigeria! ...B

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